Choose Your Pain

Every once in a while, I come across a phrase that stops me.

It's something that at face value doesn't quite make sense but it causes me to pause.

I had a friend describe this as 'sticky'.

And the 'Choose Your Pain' was sticky.

I later learned that that Jim Rohn, GOAT personal growth visionary, originally coined this phrase:

"Everyone must choose one of two pains - the pain of discipline or the pain of regret"

Here's the application today:

There’s ‘pain’ either way in everything in life. We either have the ‘pain’ right now of prioritizing time for what's important not urgent, being a beginner who learns new skills, embracing the suck when things are hard, doing the consistent work when we'd rather be doing something else, making a financial investment in something we don't need now but we know will be important to set us up for success later...

OR

We have the 'pain' later of being sick, alone, unfulfilled, left behind or broke.

Think about it...

In heath and fitness - we hit the gym consistently and put in the reps even though there might be a zillion things we'd rather be doing. We make wellbeing and nutrition choices even though there are donuts in the pantry or social pressures to 'live it up now'. Or, we do none of those things, and end up being sick or injured or dis-eased later when we hit 60, 70 or 80 years old.

In relationships - we stay through the 'pain' and discomfort of dating, times when your partner is highly dismissive or grouchy, your sibling is being an ass, when your best friend is going through tough times. Or, we do none of those things, and end up being lonely, divorced or isolated later.

In careers - we are willing to be wrong, learn new skills even if they make us feel stupid in the beginning, invest our hard-earned dollars in new training or expertise, endure office politics and egotistical coworkers, slog through the work that feels boring, take risks, fall down and land on our feet. Or, we stay safe never stretching comfort zones, and end up watching our peers rise to the top, making the same salary we did 10 years ago and live with the regret of feeling stagnant and stuck.

This newsletter is about shining a spotlight on the 'pains' to endure now to set you up for fulfillment, freedom and more life in the future.

Learning #1: 

How often do you ask yourself "where did the time go?"

For me, this came up way more often than I'd like to admit.

You might think, "So what? we all say this"

Which might be true if we are thinking about it on a moment to moment basis. 

Which is what I'd been doing.

But over the course of a month, quarter, year, I realized that there were areas that I was using the excuse of being 'busy' as a smokescreen for not taking risks or embracing the suck.

I was avoiding discomfort.

This wasn't true in all areas of life. But in career and fitness I realized that staying comfortable was holding me back.

But I believe that people, experiences and words of wisdom come to us at exactly the right time. 

Even if sometimes we'd rather deny them. 

And 'Choose Your Pain' was one of those for me.

It forced me to face a hard truth:

Time Is Non Refundable

And I was letting time slip away.

Gallups State of the Global Workforce report from 2023 showed that 62% of employees feel disengaged at work, and 41% experience high daily stress. 

"Gallup’s research into wellbeing at work finds that having a job you hate is worse than being unemployed — and those negative emotions end up at home, impacting relationships with family. If you’re not thriving at work, you’re unlikely to be thriving at life."  Jon Clifton, Gallup CEO

Every day, you make withdrawals from your time bank.

But unlike money, you can’t earn time back.

Every day you stay in a job you hate is painful. Taking a risk to leave that job can also be painful. But which 'pain' will set you up better in the future?

The longer you stay in your comfort zone, the more opportunities you miss to grow, learn, be in higher decision making levels, or make more money.

Every day spent stuck in the same place is time you’ll never get back.

You get the point, so here are a few powerful coaching questions to ponder:

1️⃣ What's the 'pain' you're avoiding right now?

2️⃣ When you fast-forward 30 years and you're sitting on your porch with favorite beverage in hand looking back on your career...what's the risk you're most proud of taking? Aka the pain you paid for the reward later?

3️⃣ What's your WHY? I.e. what's the future pain you want to avoid or your driving motivation now?

Learning #2:

We are making choices every day to avoid pain or pursue pleasure.

The problem with this, of course, is that sometimes the way we are avoiding pain is a little bit twisted.

This image humors me. Because it so clearly illustrates a twisted way some of us (yes, including me) avoid pain. 

• Denial. We avoid the current 'pain' of doing the hard thing or taking the risk or having that courageous conversation.
• Blame. We put our focus on everything external to us - the toxic company, the bad boss, the dysfunctional coworker, the bad economy, polarizing politics, etc. etc.
• Busyness. We make excuses why we can't do the very thing we need to do because we're too busy. We'll get around to it someday...when we have more time or more resources. Of course, someday never comes.

The thing we don't realize is that in all three of these examples, we are choosing to give away our power. 

We deny our own power by assuming we're not ready. We give away our power to others when we blame. We defer our power when we get caught up in patterns of chaos or busy or drama.

In order to take back our power, it's important to realize that everything IS a choice we are making.

Even if that immediate choice = 'pain'.

Here are some examples:

❌ The pain of stagnation vs. choosing the pain of growth
❌ The pain of a toxic workplace vs. the pain of making a change.
❌ The pain of investing in new training, coaching or certification vs. the pain of getting left behind or never promoted.

The truth is, discomfort is unavoidable.

In fact, Gallup found that employees who stay disengaged are 54% more likely to feel high daily stress.

Making the choice, paying the price of staying stuck isn’t just frustrating—it’s exhausting.

And emotionally, physically, relationionally costly.

There's going to be 'pain' either way. 

The question is: 

Which pain will you choose?

You can take control of your career by embracing the discomfort: 

✅ STOP procrastinating personal growth so you can focus on your brand, your narrative, and who you want to be professionally.
✅ OVERCOME discouragement, the Sunday Scaries, or freezing in your current role so you can become intentional and disciplined in your career.
✅ SAY NO to spreading yourself too thin, feeling defeated, distracted & not present with your family so you can regain creative space to think and lead your team effectively.
✅ LEAN INTO being more visible and recognized so you can get invited to the table, influence decisions, and be part of the strategic conversation.
✅ STOP THE STORIES telling yourself you don’t know how to network or make a job transition so you can get confident, connected, and take control of your career.

The discomfort of change and growth is temporary. The pain of stagnation lasts forever.

Learning #3

There's another sticky phrase I heard years ago that's very fitting here:

NOW would be a good time.

Now that you've identified your WHY.

Now that you've surfaced the pain you're paying now isn't worth it.

Now that you're (ahem, hopefully!) inspired to choose a new path.

Here are a few tips to help you:

1️⃣ WHAT do you need to prioritize?

What's the ONE thing, that if you did it and/or committed consistently, that would make 80% of the difference? What will you do this hour? In 24 hours? Within one week? Within one month? Write it down. And do it.

2️⃣ HOW will you stay on track?

This one requires some honest self-reflection. Do you need structure, a plan, or accountability? Looking back at past failures, what was missing? Learn from this and set yourself up with steps for success this time. 

3️⃣ WHO, not HOW.

We often overtax our brains trying to 'figure it out'. How am I doing to get this done? How do I get there? How will I overcome problems or setbacks? If this is where you start, you're asking the wrong question. The real question is WHO can help me. WHO has done this before? WHO already knows the answer? WHO has the expertise or right connections? 80-90% of jobs are because of a connection. When we toil away incrementally with the hows, we may make progress. But when we partner with the right people, transformation can be dramatic. 

And the pain we've been enduring can be shortened.

The Bottom Line = Choose Your Pain

What do you need to learn or do now so that you have the health, career growth, relationships, financial freedom and impact later?

Staying in a “safe” job feels known—but the longer you stay in a role that isn’t serving you, the more time you lose.

And when you waste time, you miss out on opportunities for:
🚀 Growth
🌟 Fulfillment
💥 Impact

If you’re feeling stuck, unmotivated, or burned out, you do have a choice:

Deny, blame or stay busy..

or take back your power NOW.

One of my all-time favorite quotes fits well here:

The world needs you.

Choose the pain you're willing to pay now so that you can come alive.

The Weekly Career Edge

Here's a challenge for you:

✅ Ask yourself - what do I want & need to believe about myself in order to take the actions, embrace the suck, change habits now? 
✅ What's the ONE thing you commit to doing now to set you up for success. BONUS points if you reply to this email and tell me what it is. :)
✅ Write down your WHY. Bling it up. Make it meaningful to you. And put it somewhere you'll see it every day.

The pain of change is temporary. The pain of regret lasts forever.

It’s time to choose.

Onward and Upward,

- Julie

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